Luna Zax's Story Blog

A collection of my stories and other erotic thoughts…. please enjoy…

Guide to Writing Erotic Fiction

(or Luna’s do’s and don’ts for writing female characters)

This is just my opinions on the subject of what is erotic, what is erotica, and what turns me on, in general.

To my eyes, there are a lot of poseurs out there.  On the internet we live in an anonymous world, and we all can enjoy our freedoms because of this anonymity.  We can express opinions that we dare not, we can explore ideas that we should not, we can take pleasure in someone else’s true pain, which we would not.

This is all fine in my opinion.

I have no problem with male written erotic fiction.  Some of the best erotic stories I have EVER read were written by men.  And I don’t have a problem with men writing erotic fiction from a female perspective or a lesbian perspective.  That part doesn’t matter.

But too many of these men write stories as if they’ve never talked to a girl/woman before in their life.  And I mean really REALLY talked to them.  All women are written as if they are secretly men deep deep down in their psyches.  This is not to suggest that women cannot have strong sexual desire or even develop fantasies that are shared with the basest of male desire.

However, when you read stories where pre-teen girls say “I’ve wanted a big huge cock in my cunt for a long time now.”, you just have to wonder.

I understand that guys secretly want all girls to think about sex as often as they do.  That they want girls to try every freaky thing they have ever read about in a magazine or on the internet.  That they see some girls as just a delivery system for two boobs, a vagina, and a butt.

Erotic stories are supposed to be an expression of sexual fantasy and curiosity. In the best of circumstances, maybe say something about the nature of desire and infatuation.  It should not be male-oriented written pornography.

But let’s not tear down, let’s try to build up.  Some suggestions for the writers out there.

* All women are not bi-curious.  It’s your story, and it’s certainly possible that the girl behind the video counter has always wondered what it is like to have sex with another girl.  But don’t start with the assumption that a normally straight girl has been spending most of her days waiting for her first opportunity to have sex with a girl.  And they don’t all have a crush on their best girlfriend, and are too afraid of rejection.  Girls don’t secretly stare at other girls pussies and wonder what they taste like.  There can be curiousity, but let’s keep it realistic.

* Females (girls definately/women mostly) are not usually going to have sex with someone the first time they meet them, without expecting it to happen before they go.  This is a guy thing.  Two women do not meet each other for the first time in a coffee house, and 20 minutes later are in a motel room with their legs spread wide open.  Take some time to develop infatuation, a relationship, let some flirtation plant and take seed.  That being said, a woman can get all dressed up to go out to a bar, meet someone, and have sex with them, because there was prior intent.

* Let’s avoid the cliche of I don’t have a boyfriend, so girls are a fine alternative.  Girl-girl sex shouldn’t be the second choice on the menu.  First off, if a woman just wants sex, she can probably find a guy to give it to her.  No reason to revert to a girl, just because there isn’t a cock in the house.  If they like girls, that can be a choice or rleationship preference.

* Let’s discuss breast size.  Girls do NOT define themselves by their bra size.  If I am talking to a real female who I don’t know (let’s say computer or phone) and she describes herself she tells me her hair color, hair style, eye color, skin tone, height, and maybe general weight.  If pressed she might describe her body style (skinny, average, curvy, plus-sized, athletic).  Rarely does a girl say I have 36C breasts unless they are answering the question, “What size bra do you wear”. 

* Secondly, women do not think of their breasts in terms of their bra size.  Do you think of yourself based on your inseam, or your waist size, or what size t-shirt you wear?  Women know that they are busty, average, or flat.  The bra-size is a fun, cute fact that can be revealed in conversation.  Too often I read stories like, “I’m a 5’6 blonde girl, weighing 105 lbs with 38DD breasts.  No girl would EVER describe herself that way.

* Third, breasts have weight to them.  If you have a girl who has 38DD breasts, chances are she’s not 105 lbs, even with implants.  Learn some basic anatomy.

* Let’s talk about wetness.  Men like to write about women getting wet in the same way that men get erections, they see something that turns them on and they get wet.  Now, many women can get wet easily, but understand that this is not true for ALL women.  Many women can get sexually excited from visual or audible stimulation, but still not be wet. The opening to the vagina is covered by the vaginal lips.  Wetness does not pour out of there like a faucet.  Oftentimes, girls are soaked inside the lips, but their underwear is dry.  When you rub the vagina, the lips open, and lubrication is able to occur.  This is why rape is physically painful, the vagina is not open, lubrication has not occurred.

* This may just be me, but I have never encountered a true female (not just a female name on the computer), who truly had a rape-fantasy, wanted to be gang-fucked by strangers, wanted to have her face covered in cum (bukkake), who got turned on when their child was nursing, or wanted to have a dog lick their pussies.

* Additionally, anal sex, fisting, scat play, S&M, d/s, watersports, and even adult-youth (meaning early teen and younger) sex should not be entered lightly.  These are activities that usually occur between people who trust each other as people and sexual partners.

* Dirty talk is fine, but keep in mind the point of view of the person talking.  In your writing, do not overuse the words tits, cock, pussy, slit, or cunt, even in internal dialog.  When not talking sexually, women tend to use the term breasts, boobs, and vagina.  Do no overuse the term fuck either.  Chances are if you’ve heard one of your male buddies use the phrase, it isn’t one that readily comes to a female.

* There’s a Friends episode where Chandler is shocked to find that women have seven basic erogenous zone.  I may disagree with the numbers (I think there’s more), but stimulation can occur on the lips, the neck, the breasts, the stomach, the inner thighs, the butt, and the vagina.  Most of these areas should be explored in good erotica.
* Many women love giving oral sex to men, that is true.  Some do like the feel of it in their mouth.  A few like the taste.  A far more truly love the giving of pleasure to their partners, and then having their partner do the same to them.  Very few women, and especially inexperienced girls, are going to put a guy’s cock into their mouth, and think the taste is wonderful, and can’t believe how good it is.  It’s an acquired taste at best, but it’s still not like chocolate or anything.  And if you aren’t sure, taste (or even just smell) it yourself sometimes.  I haven’t had enough cocks in my mouth, or talked to enough girls about blowjobs to be 100% sure about this, but I’m fairly confident that it’s true.

* You can say the same thing about giving oral sex to women as well.  Despite a woman’s pussy being described as a ‘honeypot’, I daresay that there are too many people who truly think that all women’s vaginal secretions taste sweet.  It can be nice, pleasant, and even interesting, but sometimes the fluid is downright bitter, smelly, and gross.  Not that you need to write it that way, but it shouldn’t ‘taste like strawberries’.  Once again, I’m not going to claim that I’ve been with enough women to be 100% positive about this, but I’m fairly confident it’s true.

* Strapons… Limit their use.  When you write about a girl using a strapon, then you’re basically saying that you want to write about a guy and a girl, but lesbians turn you on more.  Plus, most girls prefer clitoral stimulation over vaginal stimulation.

I think that’s it for now.  Please let me know if you disagree.   And also, just remember the old rule, “Only when you know the rules, do you know how to break them.”



17 Responses to “Guide to Writing Erotic Fiction”

  1. jesseblair said

    I love this post. Do you mind if I link to it from my blog?

  2. Luna said

    Absolutely… I am probably prouder of this general post than I am of any of my stories. So you are more than welcome to link to it… Email me with any other cross-promo ideas. I’ve added your site to my links…

  3. This is really a wonderful post! I think it’s useful not just for men who want to write as women, but for men who simply want to understand women.


  4. I would love to have a similar list of things that women write when using the male perspective that are incorrect. Do you know of any good sources there?

  5. Luna said


    I don’t see as many issues with how men write about the male perspective, at least not in regards to erotic stories. Or at least those incorrect ideas are less blatant than the ones about men regarding women.

    If anything the issues there are more that women write about the same type of men over and over…

    Like the women who only write stories about an attentive lover who has crafted a long erotic ‘session’ to take place the minute she gets home.

    But I am willing to be corrected on this. Suggestions would be appreciated.

  6. yvonnelefoy said

    But too many of these men write stories as if they’ve never talked to a girl/woman before in their life. And I mean really REALLY talked to them. All women are written as if they are secretly men deep deep down in their psyches.

    From the erotica I’ve read lately, I’d say that female authors are just as guilty as this as men are. They seem to write straight men saying these loving lines that just don’t fit. The editors push them to put “emotions” into the scene but it turns out so…phony. Why is that?

    Is it just me?

    I agree with Luna on this one.

  7. Luna said

    Excellent point Yvonnelefoy….

    Here’s probably the biggest difference. Most of the male mistakes in writing women, I would qualify as being juvenile mistakes… Immature guys (boys most likely) who only see sexual women in a single light. And cannot make women realistic and sexual at the same time.

    The female mistakes in writing men is probably more indicative of the female ‘blind spots’ when it comes to men, rather than being a juvenile perception. But this may also have to do with the basic motivations for writing erotic fiction.

  8. […] Guide to Writing Erotic Fiction […]

  9. really enjoyed this post…i suppose too many male writers confuse the “letters” in penthouse forum (am i showing my age) for real erotica.

  10. Josie said

    (still clapping…..) what a fantastic post!!! You’ve hit on so many of the “buzzkills” I come across when reading erotic fiction! Brava!

    That said, I am still frequently stumbling over terminology when it comes to anatomy descriptions fitting in with the flow of what I’m writing…. does it ever get easier?

    Thanks 🙂

  11. Luna said

    It must be so much easier to write erotic stories as a guy. I don’t think most of them think about what words to use, especially of the female body.

    For me, I have words that I use in my head, when thinking and sometimes talking about the human body: breasts, genitals, penis, butt

    Then there are terms I use when I’m being playful/sensual, where I want to tease a bit, maybe be more specific: nipples, clitoris, dick, slit, sex, pussy.

    Then there’s terms I specifically use when I’m being filthy: cock, cunt, ass.

    The most interesting terms are ‘pussy’ and ‘cunt.

    Pussy is interesting as it is a word that is meant to describe the look of the female gential region and the pubic hair around it, along with “bush”, “beaver”. Yet, these days with most female keeping this area clean, trimmed or bare even, the words seem out of place. And yet “pussy” remains, and bush and beaver fall to the side.

    I like “pussy” because I thought it was cute and funny when I first heard it, and it made me blush a bit. Then I thought it was rather vulgar and male-stupid. And then finally when I discovered the joys of talking dirty (to myself or others), I found that it was the term that I liked best. It is still cute and sexy at the same time.

    Cunt can get people in an uproar, including me. And it is NOT a word I use often. Outside of the bedroom, it is a very vulgar word and is used to denigrate women, and put us in the worst possible light.

    HOWever, there are those moments, during moments of passion, where caution is thrown to the wind. That moment on the rise to a full-blown orgasm, where you don’t care anymore, and all inhibition is dropped. You just want the pleasure to keep going. In that moment, you would do anything, and everything, and everyone.

    At that level, I love to use the word, both privately and in my writing. But I can write a whole story without using it.

    Sorry for going on too long, I love talking about language.



  12. alan hayfield said

    RULE #1 When writing erotica:-
    eg CRAZIEST Not Most crazy
    SHALLOWER, not more shallow.

  13. I think it’s generally accepted that women’s secretions taste ‘better’ than men’s – certainly that’s my experience. These things obviously vary from individual to individual, and are influenced by factors such as hygiene and time of the month, but the rule of thumb is men = salty, women = sweet, although if you’re really into someone you’re going to love how they taste regardless.

    Strangely enough, I have encountered a (true) story about a young mother who innocently reported feelings of arousal while breastfeeding, and was promptly busted by social services (this was in Texas, IIRC).

    Excellent list – very useful!

    • Luna said

      Hi Alice,

      Thanks for the lovely response. I agree that women’s secretions taste better, and I generally enjoy them more. But the point was that erotic stories suggest that the secretions of both genders are “delicious” or more specifically that someone trying oral sex for the first time would be completely enamored of the taste.

      I love your website and your stories. Succubus is a favorite story. Am adding you to my blog list. Please keep writing.

  14. dominique said

    I think your, Luna’s discrption of female arousel is a good pointer to writting about
    us Women beinf sexually aroused it’s not all through a womans sex organ!.
    men should look more closely at a woman’s anatomy as you so Rightly say
    I also would love to post a story on ASSTR
    The Lady in a Black Mask

  15. Miss Behaved said

    I was searching for some advice on erotic writing, and came across a link to this page. Now, I am worried that I may not be a woman as I have always believed I was 🙂 While I say this tongue in cheek, either I am abnormal or this article was perceived by me as way too much of a generalization. It could also be my age (I’m 38).
    But I can say:
    * While not all women are bisexual, the majority of the women I have met ARE bi-curious. I’m not saying that they will ever act upon it, but many of them have said that they wonder what it would be like to kiss a girl or sleep with one, etc.
    * I am 5 ft tall, 115 lbs and I DO wear a 36DD, naturally. No enhancements and my entire family is built the same. So while breasts have weight, there are several petite girls with large boobs.
    * Wetness. I get embarrassingly wet. I do soak my underwear. I actually bring a towel to bed because of the amount of fluid.
    * I DO have rape fantasies and prefer rougher sex with dirty talk to slower sensual lovemaking any day. So do the majority of my friends. I, also, prefer reading about rough sex over romance.
    * I don’t know in what region everyone else is from, but where we live, women DO use the terms “pussy”, “cock”, and “fuck” regularly. The only word I don’t like EVER is “cunt”. I enjoy dirty talk, and in throws of hot sex, the dirtier the better. I don’t regularly use the word “vagina” and “penis” unless I am talking to my Gynecologist.

    While I agree that men can write rather stereotypically about sex, I think this article does the same. Not all small girls have small boobs and not all big girls have huge ones. Not all women are into candle light, bubble baths, and cuddling. I hate to cuddle unless I’m watching a movie or cold. I don’t like talking about the experience afterwards either. Lovemaking is great periodically, but so is a good old fashioned round of fucking.
    That’s just my opinion.

  16. AverageJoe said

    I really like certain aspects about this post. It’s spunky and educational at the same time 😀 That said I do have to make the point that men are often poorly portrayed in erotica as well. One point that you brought up (and I heartily agree with) is that women experience pleasure from the stimulation of a vast array of pleasure points and this isn’t well exploited in a lot of erotica. I think this true to an even bigger extent regarding how popular erotica portrays how men feel during sex. All the stories I’ve read focus on how SHE feels and looks to HIM (soft, smooth, beautiful, entrancing, ect.). Actual sensations described are generally limited to brief occurrences with the mouth, hands, and the penis. Maybe it’s that people like that “take charge” sort of attitude in a male that gives experience rather than also receiving. But I cherish the few stories I’ve found that describe how good a simple embrace can feel for a male or features a woman that isn’t afraid to nip and kiss at a guy’s neck and ears. It’s the little bits of give and take that really pull me into the fantasy. I know this post isn’t about the portrayal of men in erotica but I thought I’d just throw some food for thought out there.

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