This is just my opinions on the subject of what is erotic, what is erotica, and what turns me on, in general.
To my eyes, there are a lot of poseurs out there. On the internet we live in an anonymous world, and we all can enjoy our freedoms because of this anonymity. We can express opinions that we dare not, we can explore ideas that we should not, we can take pleasure in someone else’s true pain, which we would not.
This is all fine in my opinion.
I have no problem with male written erotic fiction. Some of the best erotic stories I have EVER read were written by men. And I don’t have a problem with men writing erotic fiction from a female perspective or a lesbian perspective. That part doesn’t matter.
But too many of these men write stories as if they’ve never talked to a girl/woman before in their life. And I mean really REALLY talked to them. All women are written as if they are secretly men deep deep down in their psyches. This is not to suggest that women cannot have strong sexual desire or even develop fantasies that are shared with the basest of male desire.
However, when you read stories where pre-teen girls say “I’ve wanted a big huge cock in my cunt for a long time now.”, you just have to wonder.
I understand that guys secretly want all girls to think about sex as often as they do. That they want girls to try every freaky thing they have ever read about in a magazine or on the internet. That they see some girls as just a delivery system for two boobs, a vagina, and a butt.
Erotic stories are supposed to be an expression of sexual fantasy and curiosity. In the best of circumstances, maybe say something about the nature of desire and infatuation. It should not be male-oriented written pornography.
But let’s not tear down, let’s try to build up. Some suggestions for the writers out there.
* All women are not bi-curious. It’s your story, and it’s certainly possible that the girl behind the video counter has always wondered what it is like to have sex with another girl. But don’t start with the assumption that a normally straight girl has been spending most of her days waiting for her first opportunity to have sex with a girl. And they don’t all have a crush on their best girlfriend, and are too afraid of rejection. Girls don’t secretly stare at other girls pussies and wonder what they taste like. There can be curiousity, but let’s keep it realistic.
* Females (girls definately/women mostly) are not usually going to have sex with someone the first time they meet them, without expecting it to happen before they go. This is a guy thing. Two women do not meet each other for the first time in a coffee house, and 20 minutes later are in a motel room with their legs spread wide open. Take some time to develop infatuation, a relationship, let some flirtation plant and take seed. That being said, a woman can get all dressed up to go out to a bar, meet someone, and have sex with them, because there was prior intent.
* Let’s avoid the cliche of I don’t have a boyfriend, so girls are a fine alternative. Girl-girl sex shouldn’t be the second choice on the menu. First off, if a woman just wants sex, she can probably find a guy to give it to her. No reason to revert to a girl, just because there isn’t a cock in the house. If they like girls, that can be a choice or rleationship preference.
* Let’s discuss breast size. Girls do NOT define themselves by their bra size. If I am talking to a real female who I don’t know (let’s say computer or phone) and she describes herself she tells me her hair color, hair style, eye color, skin tone, height, and maybe general weight. If pressed she might describe her body style (skinny, average, curvy, plus-sized, athletic). Rarely does a girl say I have 36C breasts unless they are answering the question, “What size bra do you wear”.
* Secondly, women do not think of their breasts in terms of their bra size. Do you think of yourself based on your inseam, or your waist size, or what size t-shirt you wear? Women know that they are busty, average, or flat. The bra-size is a fun, cute fact that can be revealed in conversation. Too often I read stories like, “I’m a 5’6 blonde girl, weighing 105 lbs with 38DD breasts. No girl would EVER describe herself that way.
* Third, breasts have weight to them. If you have a girl who has 38DD breasts, chances are she’s not 105 lbs, even with implants. Learn some basic anatomy.
* Let’s talk about wetness. Men like to write about women getting wet in the same way that men get erections, they see something that turns them on and they get wet. Now, many women can get wet easily, but understand that this is not true for ALL women. Many women can get sexually excited from visual or audible stimulation, but still not be wet. The opening to the vagina is covered by the vaginal lips. Wetness does not pour out of there like a faucet. Oftentimes, girls are soaked inside the lips, but their underwear is dry. When you rub the vagina, the lips open, and lubrication is able to occur. This is why rape is physically painful, the vagina is not open, lubrication has not occurred.
* This may just be me, but I have never encountered a true female (not just a female name on the computer), who truly had a rape-fantasy, wanted to be gang-fucked by strangers, wanted to have her face covered in cum (bukkake), who got turned on when their child was nursing, or wanted to have a dog lick their pussies.
* Additionally, anal sex, fisting, scat play, S&M, d/s, watersports, and even adult-youth (meaning early teen and younger) sex should not be entered lightly. These are activities that usually occur between people who trust each other as people and sexual partners.
* Dirty talk is fine, but keep in mind the point of view of the person talking. In your writing, do not overuse the words tits, cock, pussy, slit, or cunt, even in internal dialog. When not talking sexually, women tend to use the term breasts, boobs, and vagina. Do no overuse the term fuck either. Chances are if you’ve heard one of your male buddies use the phrase, it isn’t one that readily comes to a female.
* There’s a Friends episode where Chandler is shocked to find that women have seven basic erogenous zone. I may disagree with the numbers (I think there’s more), but stimulation can occur on the lips, the neck, the breasts, the stomach, the inner thighs, the butt, and the vagina. Most of these areas should be explored in good erotica.
* Many women love giving oral sex to men, that is true. Some do like the feel of it in their mouth. A few like the taste. A far more truly love the giving of pleasure to their partners, and then having their partner do the same to them. Very few women, and especially inexperienced girls, are going to put a guy’s cock into their mouth, and think the taste is wonderful, and can’t believe how good it is. It’s an acquired taste at best, but it’s still not like chocolate or anything. And if you aren’t sure, taste (or even just smell) it yourself sometimes. I haven’t had enough cocks in my mouth, or talked to enough girls about blowjobs to be 100% sure about this, but I’m fairly confident that it’s true.
* You can say the same thing about giving oral sex to women as well. Despite a woman’s pussy being described as a ‘honeypot’, I daresay that there are too many people who truly think that all women’s vaginal secretions taste sweet. It can be nice, pleasant, and even interesting, but sometimes the fluid is downright bitter, smelly, and gross. Not that you need to write it that way, but it shouldn’t ‘taste like strawberries’. Once again, I’m not going to claim that I’ve been with enough women to be 100% positive about this, but I’m fairly confident it’s true.
* Strapons… Limit their use. When you write about a girl using a strapon, then you’re basically saying that you want to write about a guy and a girl, but lesbians turn you on more. Plus, most girls prefer clitoral stimulation over vaginal stimulation.
I think that’s it for now. Please let me know if you disagree. And also, just remember the old rule, “Only when you know the rules, do you know how to break them.”