More Erotic Fiction Tips
Posted by Luna on May 4, 2011
More advice for writing erotic fiction:
Okay, I’ve recently gotten addicted to erotic writing from the e-book community of erotic/romance writers. I wrote about this a few weeks ago.
Now, I am drawn to women writers, more than male writers. I have had my fill of bad male erotic writers during my formative years. Most of whom are living fantasies they will never achieve, or are writing for wish fulfillment. However, these women writers can be just as bad, falling into the same tired old clichés over and over.
(Please note, both you and I would be fools if we thought that all e-published writers that sport female ‘nom de plumes’ are actually female… but I do believe that there are a greater percentage of real women out there.)
And please remember, all of the following advice comes from an over-opinionated bitch who likes to write a lot. It means only as much as you want it to.
- Employment: Does every guy out there have to have an exciting job? I mean I read these stories and it’s all the same: Cowboy, Firefighter, Baron, Duke, Football Star, Spy, International Financier, Private Detective… It’s getting so that Doctor and Lawyer would actually be a refreshing change. Can’t we have attractive Bartenders, Teachers, Accountants, Drummers in a local Rock Band, Architects, or Mayor Assistants?
- Class Structure: Not everyone is incredibly wealthy. I still read all of these novels where the characters fly all over the place in private jets, and stay at private resorts, or are looking to buy 300 acres of farmland. Not that you need to write about the poor, but have characters of all classes. What’s wrong with a sexy farmhand who doesn’t have a dine. Why not have a middle-class business man who only gets one weekend a year in the mountains?
- Finances: How about the women have some money? It’s 2011. Do we still have to have erotic stories where the man comes and saves the day financially? “I can only save my daddy’s farm if I agree to have sex with Oil Tycoon Billy-Joe.” I mean, I get the relief of having someone with the financial power to remove all of your cares, but it’s too much.
- Ménage: Now I find ménages (in erotic/romance stories, ménages are almost always MMF) very VERY hot. But you see, I’ve actually talked to guys about sex. Most guys I’ve asked are very unsure if they would go through with a MMF encounter. The idea of even accidentally touching another man’s cock sends them into homophobic convulsions. Plus, guys are VERY competitive. so to suddenly have two rivals or enemies drop trou with the same girl at the same time can be a little unrealistic. So, work that part into the story, and don’t just throw it in there.
- DP: Many ménage stories include a double-penetration scene, where one guy’s cock is in the girl’s vagina and the other guy’s cock is in the girl’s anus. For the girl’s side, I covered anal sex already in this blog. So, let’s talk about the guys. The idea that two straight guys are going to let their bodies touch and let their cocks bump against each other inside a woman can really be pushing it. Let me give an example of someone who goes bold with this. I read a book recently by Jayne Rylon called Kate’s Crew. Kate has an encounter with five guys, but most of them are bisexual. The scene with all of them is so very hot, and makes more sense. Now, you don’t need to put gay guys into your sex scenes, but it was a very good solution!
Once again, it’s just not something you should throw into the book.
- Dirty talk: I’m not against dirty talk between partners. I’ve had great sex where my partner has called me everything in the book. But, I don’t think most girls want it the first time they’re having sex with someone. If I’ve thrown my inhibitions aside to have sex with some guy, when part of me thinks I shouldn’t, I don’t want to hear what a slut I am and how badly I want a cock. To me, that is not hot.This is hot: If my boyfriend, who is taking me away for a romantic weekend, calls me up on my cell phone, asking me if I’ve been thinking about his cock all day. And then, when I admit to him that I have, he tells me what a bad little slut I am. YUM!
- Sex talk: I read stories where a woman overhears a guy talking about her. Like a man talking to his wife about how badly he wants to fuck the new babysitter. And then, in these stories, the girl gets wet hearing it.
Okay, all of the girls are described as being more attractive than me, and I know that I heard guys say this about me from the time I was 14. And even when it was someone I thought was cute, it never made me ‘wet’.Not once!
“Oh wow, Billy Jenkins wants to relieve his horny nature with my body. I’m so flattered, I’m going to start rubbing myself immediately, and maybe he’ll realize that I want it too!!!”
This is lazy. That can be a log on the girl’s erogenous fire, but it never should be the one that sets it ablaze.
- Topless: The topless pool scene. Okay, you all know the one. Two women are hanging out by the pool (or a private beach, or a sauna), and one woman convinces the other one to take her top off, “After all, we’re both women, right?”Okay, if anyone I knew EVER used that line… First off, I would know exactly what her intentions are. And second, I’d be insulted that she thought I was that dumb. I mean, this was cliche before I knew what the word cliché meant. In 2011, it’s a lazy device used by writers who can’t think of an interesting way to get the two characters together.
- Shaving: While we’re on the subject, let’s remove another myth/lazy device. I’ve never had a conversation with someone else regarding the shaving of my pubic region, unless we were already lovers. Never has a non-sexual friend come up to me and say, “You should shave your pussy hair, it makes it feel soooooo good during sex.”If someone said that to me, I’d be running away from them very quickly, as that statement would creep me out.
I had that conversation with one other girl. We were both 15 at the time. She asked me if I ever heard of other girls shaving that area bare. I told her that I heard about it. She said, “Ouch, that would hurt I think.” End of conversation.
- Cock Hunger: This is a tough one, because sometimes it is hard to describe female desire as easily as male desire. Men want to slide their cocks into or between something: The wetness of a mouth, the curviness of boobs, the squeezing wetness of the vagina, the smoothness and unfamiliarity of another person’s hand, the extreme tightness of an anus.
From my experience, women want attention. Sometimes we’re not sure where we want it. Sometimes when a cock is inside me, my brain goes, “Oh yeah… that’s what I wanted…” and other times it’s, “Okay, that’s nice, and that will be nicer in a little bit.”But I read too many stories, supposedly from women, where they see a cock, are thinking about a cock, can’t wait for a cock, caught a glimpse of it and can’t stop thinking about it.
Some of this is fine. But too much of it, really makes me think that the author has a really REALLY low opinion of women. Or these guys are thinking that all women are like men. I know plenty of men who saw a pair of breasts, and won’t rest until they see them again.
So, let’s cut the cock worship down to a small prayer once in a while, and not, “There were five cocks in front of me, my desire for all of them made my mouth water.”
- Twilight Twits: You know Twilight would have been better if it had full fledged erotic sex scenes, but I guess Stephanie Meyer’s Mormon upbringing wouldn’t allow that. But she created the ultimate wish fulfillment story: an emo girl who is incredibly clumsy but every guy in town thinks she’s gorgeous, and yet she has a very low opinion of herself. She meets a brooding sparkling vampire who is willing to abstain from taking her (both as a vampire and as a man), is totally devoted to loving her. And so, there are plenty of knock-off erotic romances that take it in that direction. Just remember people, there’s a difference between fiction and fan fiction. Write your own characters and your own worlds. Don’t just ride piggyback on someone else’s universe. Break the molds, and create something new.
- Zombies: We have novels of vampire sex, werewolf sex, faerie sex, elf sex, alien sex, centaur sex, but where are the Zombies, huh. Zombie Girls Need Love TOO!
(God, I hope everyone knows the Zombie thing is a joke)